And so after 8 months since the last blog entry, I'm still well alive here and I'm very much aware that I've left this blog unattended. Haha..I know but for the past months, my life has been pretty happening, not in a good way though,unfortunately, but it's all good now. So, to keep my story short,sweet and simple.

It was a longggggggggggg painful,excruciating wait, it kept my days as miserable as it possibly could be. I didn't know what to do, where to go, whom to turn. I had my parents and family bothered with the situation and all I could do was stand alongside and look at them. I cried day and night because I fail to come to a solution, I had NO IDEA, not even the slightest. All that was in my mind was "I'M A BURDEN" why? BECAUSE, then,

1) I WAS REJECTED BY THE LOCAL UNI FOR THE TWINNING PROGRAM IN CHEMICAL ENGINEERING. (1 yr locally + 3 yrs in aus) sponsored by government.
2) I WAS REJECTED BY MOE FOR MY SCHOLARSHIP APPLICATION as well.

However, I was accpeted by UNSW, sydney, which meant I had to go self funded! I wasn't happy at all, I was cursing/swearing/complaining! I hated so much how things always have to happen the way they happened to me, nothing was ever smooth, EVER! On top of that, I have my brother who is a SHELL SCHOLAR, I was living in HELL, IN FUCKING HELL. As a daughter, my duty is to study hard, graduate and I want to do it WITHOUT having to touch a single cent of my parents money IF POSSIBLE! I wanted to follow my brother's footstep. I pray all day long, I repeated my prayers all the time to HIM, asking him for a chance to turn things around, to lead me to an opening where I can escape from all these, to guide me to a path where I should be walking down.

Later on, when the local uni has embarked, I appealed personally to them asking for re-consideration and THEY DID! I was a month late when I entered and I'm going to say it was HELL! Because there was SO MUCH, JUST SO MUCH to catch up and I had to study on my own because I've missed the previous lectures and imagine, lesson goes on everyday. I wanted soooo badly to tell my parents, I don't think I can do it but as the thoughts of having them send me to aus themselves, I forced and pushed myself to continue. I was hella reluctant. So reluctant but I know if I stay, I'll save them alot. I had no choice, no choice. Although dad says it's fine that I go self-funded but that's not what I want. NO! I pretend to be happy, because only by doing that, nobody knows. I tell them it's okay, I'm doing well but I cried every single night because I felt so stressful and I couldn't share it with anyone else.

As soon as I thought that's how my life is going to be, or will be and was slowly accepting the fact of everything, I received a call from MOE regarding my scholarship one tuesday afternoon. I didn't know how to react, what to say or even how to feel coz I was NUMB! I attended the scholarship briefing the next day and I was awarded by MOE to do CHEMICAL ENGINEERING. Only about 3 weeks of study in the local uni, I quit since I've been awarded the scholarship.

So here I'm now, back to my 3 months or lesser holiday till I become a uni student again in FEB 2010. Once from nothing, to everything. I don't know why things happen the way it did but I'm sure HE had his reasons, it was probably a test of patience, preserverance and belief and by looking at where I'm today, I have passed!

I'm extremely thankful and grateful. 4 years to go till I graduate with a degree. Let's hope all will be well, till then, this is the biggest achievement in my life. As a daughter to my parents, as a member to the entire family, my duty is half done. The remaining half would be known 4 years later:).

Often times, people fail to achieve because they fail to preserver till the very last moment. My story may not be inspiring/motivating or whatever shit, but it is a fact, I'm a proof! Always believe you'll get what you WANT to get. Once you have given everything you think you could possibly offer, you have put the best effort into doing something, leave the rest to HIM, I'm sure He sees it and will choose the best for you. Have faith and believe in Him.

I sound very christian, don't I? Haha..I probably do, but it was all the endless prayers i've said to Him that helped me come this far, each time I pray, I find peace, comfort and courage.

And on top of everything, the one thing that still make me shed some tears, but happy ones this time would be when I thought about how much I've helped not only myself but my family. That is the best I can offer them now.

I'm still alive! For the past few days, I was engaged in this JUBLI PERAK BADMINTON COMPETITION. It's an event organized for charity purposes. We had sponsors for each team and the money goes to charity. Finals wasn't easy I must say..I played singles against LISA from BSRC TEAM A!

The 3 pics above were taken by wen juan. Thanks to her tho it was pretty far as I was on the next side of the court. Talking about this, I would like to sincerely thank all those who came to show their support. I had quite a number of UNEXPECTED supporters. So surprised to see them yet I was really happy! Not entirely on because I won but because I had that bunch of people sitting there to cheer for me. THUMBSSS UPP!! Lovee lovee..

I'm taking maybe a day or two off from badminton. Had my shoes,knee support all down the washing machine. Its not like I haven't washed them for a long time, I do everynow and then. Hahha..I'm just saying. Hehe...


Overall,it was a good experience to be part of the team. I'm looking forward to more competitions.

HEEEEELLLLLLLL OOOOOOOO!! I'm back! Is the world turning upside down,the clock ticking the other way round,OR WHAT?! Hahahhahaa....after missing for soooooooooooooooo long, I'm pretty surprised MYSELF that I still remember this blog exists! I know okay,I'M AWARE that I haven't touched or done anything like this for ages! I'm doing it NOW! You might think what had been keeping me away?

Let's start now, this holiday that I'm currently having is hella happening. U have no idea! ALTHOUGH Ive been at home alot but each day is just filled with excitement. I'm currently taking my driving lessons,completed the initial 10 hrs,booked for my driving test and I have another additional 5 hrs to go just to be u know STABLE AND CONFIDENT which I'm still lacking on road at the moment.

Next comes my SERIES MARATHONING schedule! I'm watching GREY'S ANATOMY and god,I'm so in love with derek and meredith! Ohh..the plastic surgeon mark sloan is SLURRPP...HOT! While everybody is in season 5, I was just completing season 1 and 2 but u see I have all the time in the world at the moment so I've pretty much catched up. I proudly announce that I'm not in season 5! Just started the first epi:)! Talking about grey's anatomy, I'd like to sincerely thank sim who drove all the way to alex hse just to save me the remaining season 4 episods and the new episods of season 5 just so he could transfer it to me yest night,not having me to pause as I only had season 4 part 1. I was too eager to know what's gonna happen in part 2 so I couldn't bear to have the gap in between but god sent me an angel to get everything cleared;)!

THANK U SIM!

Another happening thing so far,recently I would say was SHELL's SCHOLARSHIP ASSESMENT CENTRE! Hell man,who went would know how it was like. Nothing funny,nothing easy,nothing enjoyable! It was a day or two of TOTAL HELL! It was tough,NO JOKE! At least to me it was because I was just clueless even up till today about how I did. I do not know if what I thought was logical to say will be the same to them. They're SMART ppl man...hard to deal with okay. Hard to impress but I would say I've tried my best,not in trying to impress them but doing my part. At this point, I'm just gonna pray and wait.

Well,after sitting at home for so long,being jobless. I took up a new hobby! That is reading crystal ball! Hahhahaha..lolsss!! I know waht's gonna happen for the coming four days! I'm gonna have a badminton tournament in mumong. 7.30pm! Specific enough? Hahahaha...Afi just called me say 30-45mins ago telling me about it and I didn't give it any deep thoughts because I'm free. As far as I'm concerned I'M VERY FREE! So why not? Talking about this, I'm thinking of giving tuition. I want to do something that can help me get thru each day with much more excitement at the same time earn some CASSHH but the time has to be flexible. Tuition session for sec 3 and 4,anybody up for that? Hmmm.....


Some of you who are "LOYAL" enough to visit my blog everynow and then despite it being dead for quite a while might wonder what on earth made this girl blog? BOREDOM did although I'm now watching grey's season 5 epi 1 as said earlier, I just wanted to take my mind off it for a while and I thought it might be nice to do a little typing:)!

So I guess now it's about time, I've updated,I'm happy with it. Maybe I should come back again say another 2 months time? Hahaha...nah,maybe not. I'll try as much as possible to keep it posted. Till then,take care everyone!

Ohh,for those who are currently studying, 2nd year of A levels especially..it's another 2 months time till your june AS. Kick some ass...I know its not easy and it never will be but just hang in there because before you know,it's already coming to an end so preservere. At the same time,do enjoy being in the moment as u might never experienced the same exact STRESSFUL feeling again. I can't believe I'm saying this but yeah at times I do miss doing and practising questions. I miss going back to sch every morning and the hype in PS area when friends are all around. Sharing food during break time and walking from diff classes for diff subjs and in the mid of walking we bump into each other where we would just have 1 or 2 mins of gossips! Hahha..that was FUNNNN!! Overall, I miss the smsa life, I miss the teacherS especially.

Gong Hei Fatt Choi to everybodyyyy!

I'll be going back to tutong soon. There's where I always am during this festive season. Steamboat tonight,GAMBLE,chit chat and HAVE FUN! I plan to have all the fun I can have this new year and I hope NOTHING AND I SAY NOTHING is gonna stop me because u know why? Result is gonna be released during CNY. May it be the biggest ang pau I'm gonna receive and the BEST-EST CNY I will ever have in my life.

Hello,result is my LIFETIME ANG PAU OKAY! May everything turn out to be fantastically well for myself and also to all that are waiting for their results.


Happy Chinese New Year to all....tata;)

I know,well not exactly..haha! I didn't have a NEW YEAR post. I didn't welcome 2009 in my blog. I wasn't at home on 1st of jan 2009 lor. Yeah,an excuse there but actually I've forgotten to at least make a short post or whatsoever here.

So yes,sorry that I'm late but better late than never,WELCOME YEAR 2009! As the saying goes yesterday is history,tomorrow is mystery. We shall not look back into the past,let it go. Year 2008 has been a very tiring year overall,no doubt about that. It felt like time passed too fast but yet I must say I have no regrets. I worked thru the entire year and I'm glad about that,proud about that in fact and all I'm hoping for is a great result:). There really isn't so much of excitment last year,at least I couldn't remember any that I had before november 21 2008,all I did was STUDY AND STUDY AND STUDYY! Books were once my life! If there is an award for the nerdiest nerd, I stand a good chance really.

Gavin told me I'm a paranoia. Hahaha..I'm aware of that but I just can't help it. I always feel that I've not pushed myself hard enough, Ive not reached my limits but so often times I feel extremely tired and wanna give up so badly. When those times approach,there's this one person who is always by my side,GOD! I share my pain and my haradship with him,I pray everytime I encounter problems and I know he has always been there for me,with all the patience and guidance,THANK YOU GOD! Of course besides that, I have my ever so supporting family and lovely friends to go thru' thick and thin together. I truly/sincerely thank all of you.

HO HO HOOOOOO!! Jess is BACKKK! Lolss... First and Foremost..

MERRY X'MAS to my family and friends:).

Sorry for abandoning this blog but my life has been super happening and busy! I just got back from KK and the whole trip was HELLA FUN! Not because I did alot of shopping or whatsoever,it's the laughters that we had. Goshh...damn funny! Anyway,yeah was there for 1 week,4 days spent watch Badminton World Super Series and I would have to say it's BRILLIANTLY SUPERB! No joke..AND AND ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I FOUND MY TRUE LOVE! Haahahahhahaha....I saw this really gdlooking badminton player from denmark. Wahh...love at first sight? Awww...hahaha..pfffttt!! I came back telling tracy about it and she scolded me asking me to WAKE UP from my dream. I'M NOT DREAMING OKAY! Hahaha..Really baaa...I LIKE I LIKEEE!! I'm going to DENMARK:) :) :)


❤Joachim Persson❤

Muahahhahaa...crazzzyyyy!! I celebrated christmas yest in uncle lai's hse,had really great dinner but my christmas didn't end just like that. Hahaha..went to kev's house for countdown somemore. Had abit of alcohol and the whole scene was chaotic man. so many people were freaking drunk,vomitting and stuff. I'm the spectator as usual. Hahahhaha....overall it was great la. At least it was funny and I had fun. Heidi and I left the earliest because some were really drunk that they don't know waht the heck was going on and definitely couldn't wake up to go home so yeah Im not sure what time it all ended but I left around nearly 2am?

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