Monday, September 11, 2006 8:12 PM
I was lost eversince that happened. It took me time to regain my confidence and be myself again,nevertheless,i still see some difference in myself. I wasnt really the Jess i used to be. Things are just different somehow. I have to admit after that happened,life hasnt been that smooth,the path i had to walk thru' was tough and painful but i remained strong on the outside at least. I acted like everything was alright but the truth is that i cry myself to sleep at times. Nobody knows..to cry silently is really a torture! How much i wish he was there for me each time i needed him so badly but then fact was right in front of my eyes. IT WAS OVER! I have no choice but to accept it. I wanted to tell him 'NO,I DONT WANNA END IT' but it never came out of my mouth.
I really cherished all that time spent tog,though it was short,it was sweet! The joy has constantly outweight the pain. I tried my best to remember only the joy and leave the pain but sadly i couldnt,its already a SCAR. As time goes on,i feel stronger and better each day at least i dont have to fake the smile on my face anylonger. Luckily i have friends and ppl around me to comfort me thru all these,i really appreciate it! After all that has happened,our friendship broke as well. There's this gap in between,things just couldnt turn back. NO REVERSE! Its like a diode used in a circuit,it only allow current to flow in one direction. Is there any other choices i can choose?? I dont think so..There are more to say but i shall not say,its a part which i think i should keep it to myself only.
Im just not his one so let things be and no use of forcing,things wont work and fact wont change! I'll just go with the flow,if he really belongs to me,someday or sometime he'll be back! I believe in FATE and im gonna let fate decided everything. Im in no hurry! However,i'd like to say this once again,i really CHERISHED the time spent,its buried in me! Hahahaha...My heart still misses every beat of it to be frank!
Got to go noww...times UP!
Take care!
Luv,
JeSS
JeSS loves you!
