Wednesday, June 11, 2008 6:44 PM
I just finished reading a friend's blog and umm she talked about some sort like don't give up just because we fail to achieve what we're targeting as we have much more imp things/people that we love and vice versa around us,its just too selfish to leave them and not wanting to care how they would feel deep down. Well, I would like to say yes life has its own ups and downs and now we're given a chance to be here we're to take them down and challenge them,not be taken down by them but how strong can we possibly be? how much can we do and how far could we go? How determined can we be and how much more could our minds,souls and hearts hold? Specially when you're in a position where u just couldn't understand why did it turn out the way IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE despite u putting all that you could in the very first place,setting ur heart and doing what's right,doing what is within ur control. You just can't help but to feel discouraged,disappointed,sad and the worst thing is u don't feel disappointed and sad FOR YOURSELF because when u question yourself u just couldn't find an answer as to why that happens. It's just left unanswered and it plays in the mind like music,it just keeps on repeating. Every time u try to work you would just have this mindset behind the back of ur mind telling u "what's the whole point? it's just not gonna work!" and after that u say to urself "NOOO....TRY AGAIN OKAY,TRY ONCE MORE..IT MIGHT WORK THIS TIME,THERE IS AT LEAST 50% CHANCE THAT IT MIGHT TURN OUT THE WAY U WANT IT TO!" Do u know how tired and harsh it is to have to motivate or convince urself every now and then that it isn't over yet but u just don't deserved to be told "coz u've not worked hard in the first place,that is why u would have to go thru' it again this time" Can u not help but to think that perhaps you're just not A potential? That;s just it? that's the answer to all the WHYS? No piece of shit,I would want to accept that really. And so you tell urself "work harder the next time....BUT I'VE WORKED VERY HARD ALREADY? IT COULDN'T BE ANY HARDER,COULD IT? you might think" Soo,what are u gonna say to that?
The question is "WHY?!" and the answer is just "..........SILENCE" Nobody could answer that,not even yourself. Anddd the shittiest thing is that when ppl around u with better achievements come saying "OMG! that's just soo surprising,how did i even get that? I didn't even really study" Ohhhh.......FUCK THAT! JUST FUCK THOSE WORDS! I can just tell u how much I HATE people like that the hell out of my guts! Trying to boast around what a smart ass you are that u can just get that easily,U HAVE THE POTENTIAL? You may never know luck so happen to be just by ur side.
Well,some who knows me would know it somehow reflects a part of my life and i do not hope this to be spread around like news or anything like that. It's where I rant,i speak and I...........SWEAR:D when I'm just not happy or when I'm feeling really stressful like now OR WHEN I'M LOSING THE WONDERFUL THOUGHTS OF LIFE AND ONLY SEEING THE DARKEST SIDE OF IT! So please,whoever that is reading or will be reading,keep this low...read,laugh(if u like) and forget them. Not something inspiring anyway...but if u so happen to be INSPIRED,let me know..I'm a great writer perhaps,it's a gifted talent yet to be discovered.MAYBEE?...hahahahhaha....:p
Lucks to all my friends for tmrw's papers and also bio students for fri's paper.
JeSS loves you!
